December 7, 2006 - Boulder Weekly (CO) A Plague On Both Your Houses

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This week, our government will decide whether or not they want to poison foreign countries.

Congressman Mark Souder, R-Ind., Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, and Sen. Joseph Biden, D-Del., are proposing a bill to the House and Senate that, if passed, will revive research on a fungi called mycoherbicides, which would be used to kill illicit drug crops in other countries.

Mycoherbicides have been studied exhaustively over the past 30 years and research has shown that they are not a viable option for controlling opium, coca or other drug plants in countries like Columbia and Afghanistan.

The fungi do kill drug plants, but they also wipe out tomato plants and bean plants and strawberry plants and pretty much anything else that has leaves and stems.

Furthermore, after these little bastards get entrenched, they contaminate the soil and leave the ground barren for years.

Some governments are even storing up mycoherbicides as a chemical weapon.

The Drug Policy Alliance has already made numerous statements against this drug control option; however, the new bill before Congress would revive the research and open up political conversation on this topic.

This is basically a proposal to initiate a program of global biological warfare.

Famine, starvation and war would inevitably follow.

If Congress wants to pursue these type of extreme tactics further, they might want to consider a few other options:

1 ) A plague of locusts would certainly send a strong message;

2 ) Turning the rivers to blood is always popular in a pinch; and

3 ) The Air Force could always fly over the Middle East and drop a butt-load of frogs on the locals.

And if all else fails, we can just start killing off every first-born male child. You have to stick with the classics.

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